tired but not tired.

sometimes i stand in my drive way, my neck is tired from holding my head so high,
i take a look at the stars and acknowledge the things I don't know about them.

and then sometimes my neck gets tired from dragging my head so low as i gaze upon the gravel that i stand on, and i ponder where exactly i am in life.

but, as i realize these thoughts i've just typed out,

i come to grasp one thing from this...

and it's that everything is beautiful.

and that's something i will never tire of.

and i'm glad that i have arms to pull my out of the holes that i somehow sink into.

i have one person to thank for that.

cheers.

some people enjoy it,
others anticipate it,
others embrace the feeling,
others capture peoples faces,
it ends the game.

sitting around a table, with surfaces as flat as home made pancakes,
piling rectangular pieces of wood on top of one another,

who would have thought that building something so monumental, with the thought of it all collapsing could bring people together,
merely not for anything slightly too serious,
just to give enough competitive edge for one to get so carried away with.

god,
if you're listening,
is my life merely a jenga game?
are you piling a weight on my shoulders?
what is it like to see everything fall?
are you hurt by my stupidity?
is it even sad that i'm feeling a slight empathy torwards you?

i would just like to know.

cause sometimes knowing things helps a bit.

build me up.


cheers

the only thing keeping me afloat today was a thin piece of board that i layed on as the waves simmered down and slithered like snakes under my body.
i stretched my hands out and cupped them to paddle to where the waves were breaking better than the spot i had been in.
from the ever so broad horizon i spotted a couple of large waves gathering their height, as if mother nature was piling up unwanted water loading then into a tractor and forcefully pushing them towards the shore.. sadly i was in the way.
i'd had my time of rest, and now it was time to get past these towering giants.

it's no fun when you're only so small and the force of nature is only so big.
i saw my near future.

as i attempted to duck under the spiraling molecules of water, it was out of my power to make it to the surface.
i let the wave take me.
i tossed and turned and opened my eyes to wonder where in the hell the surface was.
i found the direction: up.
i quickly ascended to the surface, and was rewarded air, and i exchanged carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.
quickly tugged my board underneath my body, and repeated this cycle about 5 more times till the set of waves made it to the shore.

after i decided to catch a couple of waves, i rested for a bit.
as i scanned the oceans surface trying to find the best possible breaking wave,
i noticed a pair of fins pop up form the surface a gracefully sink out of sight.
as i scan again, a dolphin elegantly jumps out of the water, and then another one.
i must have counted about 30 of them.

i had to take my eyes off of them for a while,
as i realized there were waves approaching, i turned towards the shore and paddled to catch a wave,
while paddling a dolphin decided to scare the shit out of me,
he was in arms reach of me,
and we both took the wave together.

i must have cut the poor thing off, cause i didn't have a clue to where he went after that.

the waves took me back to the shore that afternoon.
i headed back to the car with my eyes fixed upon the suns falling asleep.

this is nothing that i had experience in my life.