the wood floor boards creaked as i tip toed my way across them,

the night was beautiful, as the god himself boasted of his creation as i gazed up at the stars.

there was an owl perched on a tree looking for a meal to swoop up, like a fat man at the mcdonalds drive thru.

got to my car, and my feigning hands frantically searched for what i was looking for.

i wish something out of the ordinary happened to me tonight,

i called but got nothin' in return.

tomorrow, i'll wake up,wipe the crust out of my eyes, sift through my dirty clothes hamper, brush my teeth, clean my ears, drag the deodorant stick over my arm pits, spray some shitty cologne that only attacks stray cats, and head to class.

i'll smile at that cute girl that sits in front of me,

i'll walk to my car, listen to music.

and that might just be my day.

i wish i could say something adequate for you to think about,

your probably going to stop reading this, cause it's boring, and click back to facebook and read about what someone else is doing.

and it's totally fine.

i watched some of my friends disappear through a simple situation that i could not prevent.

frustrated.

i headed for the beach the other day,

surfed.

but as i stumbled out of the water, i noticed how un-satisfied i was with the lack of energy i had.

i wish i still had something creative i could do or say.

but this is about it.

things are changing.

i don't like that.

cheers

i feel like i'm losing a race.

title

i'm tumbling, like clothes through a dryer.

i'm fumbling, like a professor correcting papers,

i'm waking up screaming,

i'm soaring through the air, like a paper plane with no direction,

i'm lost, like this culture without cell phones,

i'm a wreck.

a wreck.

i swear to you,

i don't know where i am going. 

you'll never know.

sometimes i feel i shouldn't say anything.
i mumble.

uncertainty is probably one of the most occuring feelings in my life right now,
can't say it feels great,
can't say it feels crappy either.
it's just there.

it's all just weird.


cheers

i briskfuly walked down the pier this evening,
the sun took it's course to venture to the other side of the planet, it inhaled it's last breathe only to puff out a large amount of smoke that resembles fog.
we walked and talked life, it was great.
the insides of me wanted to regurgitate a large smile, like the smile you see when a fisherman catches a fish.

we walked past couples, couples that were holding each other for dear life.
some were doing this weird thing with their mouths, that conjoin to make one for a while, and after that happens they return each others mouths and then give smiles, gazing into each others eyes. it's weird.
i guess that's what love does. or maybe that's just the infatuation with the opposite sex's appeal.

i say that i won't search for any type of relationship, but it always ends up happening.

i just need someone here
for me.

i have an egg shaker in my car.
i have a dog at home.
i have a friend around the corner.
a mom.
a brother.


whatever dude.
i'm just writing cause i can't sleep, and it's hotter than a hot pocket.


cheers

tired but not tired.

sometimes i stand in my drive way, my neck is tired from holding my head so high,
i take a look at the stars and acknowledge the things I don't know about them.

and then sometimes my neck gets tired from dragging my head so low as i gaze upon the gravel that i stand on, and i ponder where exactly i am in life.

but, as i realize these thoughts i've just typed out,

i come to grasp one thing from this...

and it's that everything is beautiful.

and that's something i will never tire of.

and i'm glad that i have arms to pull my out of the holes that i somehow sink into.

i have one person to thank for that.

cheers.

some people enjoy it,
others anticipate it,
others embrace the feeling,
others capture peoples faces,
it ends the game.

sitting around a table, with surfaces as flat as home made pancakes,
piling rectangular pieces of wood on top of one another,

who would have thought that building something so monumental, with the thought of it all collapsing could bring people together,
merely not for anything slightly too serious,
just to give enough competitive edge for one to get so carried away with.

god,
if you're listening,
is my life merely a jenga game?
are you piling a weight on my shoulders?
what is it like to see everything fall?
are you hurt by my stupidity?
is it even sad that i'm feeling a slight empathy torwards you?

i would just like to know.

cause sometimes knowing things helps a bit.

build me up.


cheers