sometimes I feel alone. Some days are long and hard. But when I look out into the world, I am struck by the impossible beauty of it all. Those billions of magnificent accidents that led us to where we are today, that led us to the paper planes and nautilus shells and the tiny, crooked smiles of children,

When I think about all the small perfections of the world, I have faith that my time will come.

I have faith that someday, a warm light will flood over me and I will find peace.

- All my friends are dead.

take what you can

I'm not your umbrella in san diego that you only think about when it's hardly raining,

i'm not your pair of gloves that you keep to the side,

i'm not yoke that you discard because you only like the whites

i'm not the forgotten rat trap you set last month

i'm not the ten foot elephant you killed only for my two 3 foot tusks.

i'm surely not a beggar,

i'm surely not the tab that you tear off of your soda can,

i'm surely not a human being that doesn't mind.

take what you can.

i wrote a note.

eggs

i actually dispersed them out, i put them in different baskets and labeled their hard white shells. each basket for something different, i just didn't know what they were for.
you know how they say to never put all your eggs in one basket?

well i didn't,

my eggs were infested with salmonella.


typical bradley luck.



i gotta stop reading into things man!





oh, and i really hate eggs.

i'm just nice.
that's all i'll ever try to be.
that's all i want to be.

lets go get donuts and eat them on the beach.

lets go to a movie.

lets drive around in your semi.

lets talk about elvis and bob dylan.

tell me about what you think...

dad.

leaf

it was just a sound of the wind as it rushes by the trees, causing their leafs to fall all around me. I'd seen this happen before, many times.

i'd stand below the tilted eucalyptus in my front yard and tried to catch the leafs like a baseball player trying to catch a pop fly as the ball is masked by the sun, although this time i had no sun,

i was impaired by fermented sugar.

i'd trip and sputter around.

but, either way intoxicated or not, those leafs were really hard to catch.

although tonight as i was sitting enjoying my cold brew, as leaf fell upon my lap.

i looked up and cursed the tree i sat under,

i wanted a challenge, i wanted to dance back and forth and to reach out my begging hands and finally grasp that leaf that the tree shook off.

instead of embracing this leaf that fell upon my lap,

i crumbled it, lit it on fire and stomped on it.

there are some things that need to be embraced,

and there are some things that fall upon your lap,(without any acknowledgment that they were there in the first place that they were there)

that need to be let go.

there indeed are many more fish in the sea

it was a hot mess,

as the situation danced around me like lost moths.

i continually dance down isles and rows, as if i were in a grocery store, and the items i picked out resembled the ideas and different points of view in which i could clearly see the difference.

my eyes would dash back and forth as if i were a spectator at a tennis match,

i'd scan prices,

i'd contemplate as i stood blocking the isle,

i shouldn't have.

it's up to me.

just for now

tonight i sat outside in my front yard,

admiring the moths as they dash towards the lights like cold people do to a bon fire.

i noticed the growth of the grasses and weeds, that stood tall like the redwoods, i pondered off about how the rains had made them sprout up.

they carefully release their seeds to the wind, and let nature take it's course.

i turned around, and thought to myself that it's just a course of nature,

as the heat will one day return and wither them away, and my front yard would then look like a field of just dust and rocks, and the gofer holes will be scattered like acne among the lot of land.

i'm figuring out that these situations in my life, these tough times, these amazing times, are all times that last as long as my so called garden will in my front yard.

but new things will arise, as my relationships resemble seeds that become planted,

whether they die, or become an amazing sort of plant,

it's all just a course of nature,

things will appear again, and then some things won't

so, as for now,

i'm admiring my garden as the bugs and lizards frolic in their forest.

i can legally buy alcohol now.

lets go out for a drink.

cheers

sometimes i like being alone.

i'm just waiting.

creative writing

i had to write this poem for creative writing,

i think it sucks,

and maybe you might too,

but,

however this situation is saddening to me,

His eyes were painted yellow like the dandelions she grew in her garden

His teeth were stained a tangerine orange,

His toe nails were curved hawks talons,

His breath smelled of fierce alcohol,

His veins showed, and danced around wildly,

His legs looked pregnant,

His bottle of alcohol was his sad sidekick,

His wallet was his pride,

His wife is dying.

it never works out.

ever.